Gogol's Resentment Toward his Parents in The Namesake

After reading chapters five and six of The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri, I noticed the prevalent theme of Gogol’s chronic and unnecessary resentment toward his parents. Even while in his later twenties, after experiencing the great freedom of going off to college, and in spite of his parents’ obvious passion and care for him and his wellbeing, Gogol still desires complete detachment from his parents and feels restricted when in contact with them and their customs.

First, throughout chapter five, Lahiri provides some reasoning for Gogol’s resentment toward his parents, highlighting his irritation with their ways of pressuring him and their unending anxiety and discomfort with their surroundings.  While having dinner with Max’s family, “there is none of the exasperation [Gogol] feels with his own parents. No sense of obligation. Unlike his parents, [Max’s parents] pressure her to do nothing, and yet she lives faithfully, happily, at their side” (138). While Gogol observes Max’s parents, he reflects upon the pressure his parents have always put on him, and the pressure is probably a big reason that Gogol doesn’t appreciate them. Also, when visiting his parents before vacationing in New Hampshire, Gogol offers to move their rental car at his father’s request, “irritated by his parents’ perpetual fear of disaster” (148). When Gogol compares his parent’s nervous lifestyle to the casual and carefree lifestyle of Max and her parents, he does not appreciate how his own family cannot relax.

Next, Lahiri makes clear how Gogol’s parents greatly care for their son and only have his best interests in mind. When Gogol lives in New York and doesn’t make much money, for example, “occasionally his father sends him checks in the mail to help him with his rent, his credit card bills” (126). This kind gesture suggests that his parents continue to look after him, even throughout adulthood. Also, throughout the chapter, Gogol’s parents constantly make an effort to connect with him; they call Gogol at his apartment, meticulously prepare lunch for him and Max, wish to celebrate Gogol’s birthday with him, and request a call confirming his safe arrival in New Hampshire.

Unfortunately, Gogol lies to his parents over the phone, dislikes the effort his mother put into the lunch she cooks for him and Max, and he neglects to call his parents at all in New Hampshire. At the very end of the chapter, Gogol realizes that “he has not given [his parents] the number, and the Ratliffs are unlisted… in this cloistered wilderness, he is free” (158). Gogol's reaction to his realization implies that he wants absolutely nothing to do with his parents, regardless of their thoughtfulness, and he feels happier without them in his life. In my opinion, Gogol should recognize and appreciate his parents, as their actions suggest a truly deep care for his wellbeing.